It came to me today in meditation, that the confusion between sex (control) and Love, is probably rooted in the old paradigm that if you want to keep a Man (Father for your children) You better make sure that No one else but you has his Children.

I think that Any healthy male will tell you, that the natural instinct of man is to have More than one sexual partner … and in some cases as Many as they can… this is a built in instinct (Part of evolution) that spread as much diversity through clans tribes and the world… and I think that Natural instinct is still pretty strong.

When we meet a great friend on the road of Life, we do not say “HEY! You’re the best friend I ever had… Now I don’t want you to ever have another friend.”
 
When we receive a large cash grant from a foundation we do not say “Hey I never want you to give another $ to anyone but us”.

When you buy a great work of Art (from the greatest Artist you have ever met!)…You do not say: “Hey! I Never want you to sell a work of Art to any one else but ME!”

When my mate eats my cooking It makes me feel good… but I am not going to say “HEY I don’t want you to enjoy anyone else’s cooking but mine!”

So why do we insist that the Love our lives never love anyone else … or have sex with anyone else?

Most men have healthy sexual libidos even after the sexual thrill has worn off most “Marriages” Is it Not the gift of a Loving partner that allows them the freedom to seek what makes them Happy? How else are they going to learn new techniques to bring back to the marriage bed? ; )

It seems to me that we need to question the systems of belief that does not serve to make our lives (and the lives of those around us) better, or we stay stuck in the patterns that do not serve.

This is My experience… and my opinion only … what is your opinion?

William

There are no disputes in heaven*…

because there you can go to the all seeing All Knowing Akcasheck records in the sky and see ALL Perspectives on a problem and then ALL would be Known…

there would be No Denial or exploitation.

*Heaven: Fill in whatever transbarial dimension you like … Otherside… elision fields, gardens of personal delight, ONEness.

Primaries ‘ex’s’ and “Extras”…
It Still Amazes me after so many Years, that so many Men try to model their relationships after (Usually as unsuccessful ) Hetero models …' I Find My self in the richest Sweetest Relationship of my life (an Open one)… with the Man that is very Likely, to be My # 1 for the rest of my life… I would Not Trade him for anyone I have ever met… and after 5 years … I recognize that he has a need to Travel and have adventure…

I am More into building Home and Community… Someone I like, gave me an under handed compliment the other day … told me he wanted me to find him a husband who was Just Like Me … but 40 pounds Lighter… (!)

Since I have had a personal Goal to lose about that much… and I Always sort of considered him likely to be a candidate to one day be one of My ‘Extra’ Husbands … I said: “Oh I Might lose the 40 pounds …'” and He sort of stammered: “Oh ! I Would Never want to interfere in what you already have” (Or something to that effect)… Hope I did not Scare him!...

... then there is another Friend, who says that I am a “Gem” (someone I Really Like and would like to be closer to…) and it is Not OK to be Sensual or affectionate With him, because I am in a Relationship… (?)

Now My #1 and I have Declared our Love to Each other … we have specifically intentioned, that we have other Lovers … and Some times May even share the same Lovers (only Happened 2 times since we have very different attractions)… this we do as a Gift of Love to each other and to Keep our Love Fresh and Free to be what it is and work as Healers in our community…( still we are Committed to each other.)

Strangely, there is Less Drive to ‘Hook Up’ with other guys, when you Know you Can… I Speak for my self, but I believe My Love would concur… It is NOT a ‘Need’ and Neither of us feel “trapped” or resentful of the ‘Loss’ of the excitement and fellowship we might have with other MEN… We Simply give it, as a Conscious Gift of Love…

as Maude said: “Go and Love Some More” Our Bottom line is: “Follow your Heart”. Not some BINDING Contract that one must Oblige... or eventualy violated or broken. What it Really comes down to …is that we are mostly Liberated from the Conventional role of Jealousy/Resentment …and we do not have a Need to control each others Hearts or Genitals.

We Do recognize that we do not Nesicarely want to Sit and watch the other Make out with another guy … but do not Mind if they do it elsewhere…

No 2 men that I have ever Loved …have I Loved the Same way… I Loved them for all the reasons that made them Unique…

It Seems Like ‘gay men’ as a culture, have a whole Lot of encounters that are:
Meet
Fuck
Never acknowledge them Again…
This often happens as a result of the candidate for “Mr. Right” Not Meeting the (often Huge) list of qualifications that one is seeking for “MR. Right”. Maybe Close… but Not Quite… So TOSS! Into the dumper…like so much dirty cum rag…

LOTS of Great Friendship material, SCRAPED because we are Usually are too ChickenShit to admit to them that they are not “MR. Right” so we Just Toss them…

The ONLY Ones I refer to as “Ex” are the Ones that Lied to me … or Stole from me…or dishonored themselves. The Rest of them … I Still Love… some I do Not Know where they are, or if they are still alive… Some I Know it is Best if I never see them again …or them me…some of them are Still in my life and we Play some times …all these I think of as Secondaries or “Extras".

It is Sad to me, that there are not webs of Men… STRONG Men …Loving Men … Loving as many as they can and Not just using each other and throwing each other away…

To me it all seems so Obvious Now… but it was Not always so… and for many, May not yet be … But My Heart is Open to Brothers who understand what it is Like for me to be in a Committed relationship … and Still free to love and play...

And I hope that the men I care for, will seek Higher, more interconnected ways to Love… Because this is the way I feel a Subject/Subject Universe CAN BE.

that wizard
Will I Am

The aloof syndrome.

I notice more and more, there is a tendency for people to see “Cool” as Aloof.

Don’t get me wrong. I uphold every persons right to make their own choices.

BUT when people hide and hold back who they are in hopes that what people fill in something that will benefit them? it is really a Shut down in the tribal experience.

The Process is to be REAL from the Heart. Speak the Truth and Stay Engaged. That is Key to Tribe.

For me, a person who will not share who they are freely in HeartSpace or in community Process, Openly and with Transparency… then wondering WHO they Are and What Motivates them, is suspect.

Healthy Tribes (and Clans) Need Boundaries.
Every Clan and Tribe has its boundaries that define who they are and where they Live. Some times you are Host and some times you are Guest and Part of Tribe, is to Teach you how to be good at BOTH.
Further to be a good Neighbor.
Learn how to Settle disagreements Amicably.

Original Sin

The Original Sin did not have anything to do with Sex, or any thing to do with an Apple.

The Original Sin was when one person (or Group of People) said "OUR GoD is the Greatest! And He (She/It) Loves us Best". So we can take what is yours and treat you as fodder for Usery.

Thus Making the OTHER, A THING.

This is the Opposite of Subject\Subject Consciousness.